Don’t worry. You haven’t missed anything. I literally have been blocked this whole time. So I have stopped to reevaluate exactly what has happened. I am an artist. I have always been. However, the art has changed my entire life. I think it is changing again. Music was my first art. Later I was introduced to pen and ink, then back to music, then to painting, etc. I am definitely a right brainer. My creativity flows into different mediums every day. So I have reevaluated this flux as a new chapter in my life.
I have always been interested in health sciences. My youngest aspiration was to be a doctor. My insecurities however made me a pharmacy tech. Later i developed a fascination with childbirth and became a doula. We moved to the states and where I live no one knew what a doula was ie there was no work. I knew I used a lot of massage to help my moms and enjoyed it. I loved anatomy so I became a massage therapist. I worked in pediatric rehab and loved it. I wanted to stay in that field so I tried Occupation Therapy. Again, a masters degree seemed to big for me so I stopped. As you can see this pattern of insecurity has continued to stop me my whole life. But NO MORE!! I enrolled in nursing school and decided to close my eyes and jump. That is exactly what it feels like.
I am full time Monday-Thursday 7:30-4:30. Then there is work from 5-9pm and work Friday and Saturday. My art always gave me the sense of grabbing the bull by the horns and sucking the marrow out of life. I was fully immersed in my cerebral ideals and the vulnerability of sharing with an audience was thrilling. Im getting that high now by standing against the wind. I am defying the limits I have set for myself. I am doing what I thought was impossible. I still have dreams of becoming a midwife or even just working on the labor and delivery floor. This is just step one. This is the biggest step.
I miss my art. I have all my studying done for my exam Monday. Being snowed in really helps my study habits. I think I will have a little me time after work today. So maybe something will evolve. Who knows…