Sometimes you have to adult whether you like it or not. You have to adult when you pay your mortgage, your taxes or buying a life insurance policy. Sometimes you have a running toilet and you get 145$ water bill. Other times you wake up to a flat tire and have to miss work.
Sometimes that flat tire on your over 200,000 mile care leads to buying a new car. I don’t like to adult. I feel like I don’t have to do it to often. It’s just a day or an online payment and it’s over. Then I can go back to playing with my kids, loving on my hubby or spending all day drawing in my bed. I love those days. It feels like recently I’ve had to adult more than I like.
When life gets to hard I call 911 dad. Yes that’s his caller ID on my phone.
My big traumatic freak out moments are just a pothole in the road to my dad. You just keep on driving.
A few years ago I was in full time adult world. I had many complex issues that required lawyers, hospitalization, credit cards and work problems. All of that stole my joy. I wasnt equipped, or at least I felt like I wasn’t equipped to deal with that much life at one time. So I called 911 dad every time. I cried I dispaired and would wallow in my trials. I had no faith. I figured that I had made mistakes and people were bad and that’s just the way God made the world. Once he set those things into action we just had to survive the fallout of those actions. For instance, God created tobacco, I smoke tobacco. The cycle is that I have black lungs a tired face stained teeth (hidden by whitening) and feel tired all the time. Why did God create tobacco? Who knows. So when my life was hard I felt it was just the fallout from my actions and I had to deal with the consequences. And I still believe this to a degree as does my dad. You reap what you so. If you don’t work you don’t eat. I subscribe to that kind of philosophy.
But sometimes I would call my dad crying over a bad dream (I have night terrors) or a flat tire. He would always say that’s just a part of life and you have to deal with it and move on. I can only see as far as the end of my nose so I didn’t understand how he could say that. To me I had a disaster therfore life was a disaster.
Today is differnet. When I walked out to my car and saw my tire setting on the rim, when I saw my rusted break pads, when I saw I had passed the 200k mark on my mileage I was ok. I have the tools to deal with this now. I know that these things happen sometimes for no reason other than there was a nail somewhere that found it’s way into my tire and I just needed to get it repaired. It didn’t steal my joy. My hubby is my chearleader and when he saw all this happening he was waiting for me to fall apart. But this time feels different. I know it’s going to be ok. I have God’s peace in my life and it’s really working. I’ve heard people talk about it and I thought of it as some kind of mystical fairy dust. It’s not. It’s real. I’ve learned to trust God with things. I’ve put all my cards on the table and walked by faith and it worked. I began to succeed when I wasn’t working through only my strength. I know my God cares for me and my flat tire.
So today I’m adulting and still smiling
I can say confidently my God loves me
He knows I have a flat tire and he’s helping me take care of it so I have no worries and still have joy. For the people that know me that is impossible to believe. However I understand now what my dad meant when he would tell me that things happen and you just keep going. I have over 200,000 miles on me and I’m still going.
Now back to this……